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I'm a 29 year old chick living in the South. I'm married to Kim - happily married most of the time. Our daughter is 8-year-old Bailyn. I work in the I.S. Department of a nearby hospital. Oh, and I'm a pagan living in the Bible Belt.

I love reading, cuddling with Kim and Bailyn, working with computers, playing The Sims 2, and waiting anxiously for the release of Sims 3.

2008-11-05 - 7:07 a.m.
The story of Joshua, Part One

Before I begin the story, allow me to acknowledge President-Elect Barack Obama. It's a wonderful day in American history for a Black man to be elected. While we're nowhere near being color blind, maybe we'll get there in my lifetime.

Also a warning: this story does not have a happy ending. If sad stories bother you, don't read it. It has been 5 years since these events took place, so it's way overdue that I put them in writing. Here is the beginning of the story of Joshua:

The story starts at the beginning of July 2003. My hubby had only achieved fianc� status at that time, and he had just (the day before our discovery) started what was pretty much his dream job, except for the fact that he was going to be in a city about 3 � hours away about one week a month. It was a job that paid well and utilized his skill set perfectly. We were beyond thrilled. He was going to have to stay up there for training M-F for several weeks. He was going to be doing computer work for several different banks.

I was scheduled to have all 4 wisdom teeth removed. My period was really irregular. I didn't think I was pregnant, but it had been 6 weeks since Aunt Flo had shown up, so I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist to get a blood test. Of course, I wanted to be on the safe side�.wasn't going to be taking all those pain meds and shit if I was knocked up. Imagine my surprise when they had me pee on a stick on it had 2 lines! The 2nd line was faint, but it was there. They declared me pregnant and drew blood for all the initial tests. I was shocked, but thrilled. This was a Tuesday, and my man wasn't due to be back home until Friday. I didn't want to tell him on the phone, but I couldn't keep quiet. I called him that night and spilled the beans. He was shocked, and neither thrilled nor upset. He was stuck on shock. We were still living separately at that time, so he had no practice at full time parenting. I already had Bailyn, who was 3 (he adopted her the next summer after we married).

By the next morning, he had reached excitement. He went in to his new job telling his new coworkers our great news. He told his new boss and got a lukewarm reception. He thought it was weird, but decided that the guy may just be that kind of guy. He was called into the owner's office around 10AM. When he went into the office, his supervisor was there and they closed the door. They explained to him that they were extremely sorry, but they were going to have to let him go. The owner had spent the majority of the previous day fighting for him, but in the end, there was nothing he could do. The bank that was their major account was also one my hubby had filed bankruptcy on after a divorce 10 years before. The president of the bank would not permit him to work in his bank. A stupid $750 loan cost him his dream job. He came home heartbroken and freaking out about how he was going to support his baby.

The next day, I was at work when I got a call from the midwife at my doctor's office. She said she was terribly sorry, but my HCG level was way too low for a 6 week pregnancy and it looked like I was probably in the process of miscarrying. She asked me to come in for another blood test to see what my HCG level was. I went immediately, and they explained that the HCG level doubles every 48 hours in a viable pregnancy. Since I'd had the first test on Tuesday and was in the 300s, this was Thursday and my level needed to be 600-700. The midwife hugged me and told me the results would be back Monday. She called Monday morning saying that it had more than doubled and asking me to come in again for another test. I went for the blood test and waited 2 more days. It was skyrocketing, just as it should in early pregnancy. Maybe I had conceived later than we thought, since my period was so irregular. My levels were perfectly consistent with a pregnancy 2 weeks younger than the 6 weeks we'd first calculated. It made perfect sense. It had been a roller coaster, but it looked like the baby was going to be OK. Instead of 7 weeks pregnant, apparently I was 5 weeks pregnant. Due date will probably be changed when we have the ultrasound at the first appointment with the doctor, which we will go ahead and schedule.

I went in a couple of weeks later for the first doctor's appointment. I have my PAP and all that good stuff, then we move on to the ultrasound. Everything looks great. Strong heartbeat. Baby is measuring 7 weeks, which fits perfectly with our earlier theory of late conception. Due date is changed from 3/2/04 to 3/16/04. Dad is working at a shitty call center job for the time being, but has another good job angle he's working on and it's in the very same small town I'm working in. We're heading into early August now. Dad and I are planning to move to the small town where it's looking like we'll both be working in October or November, and we're planning to seal the deal with a quick visit to the courthouse. Things are looking great.

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