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I'm a 29 year old chick living in the South. I'm married to Kim - happily married most of the time. Our daughter is 8-year-old Bailyn. I work in the I.S. Department of a nearby hospital. Oh, and I'm a pagan living in the Bible Belt.

I love reading, cuddling with Kim and Bailyn, working with computers, playing The Sims 2, and waiting anxiously for the release of Sims 3.

2009-01-06 - 6:37 p.m.
Strange Visitor

OK, in all the craziness since before we went to NYC, I had not been paying attention to who was hitting the blog. I happened to check it about a week ago to see if I had any interesting hits. By interesting, I meant other countries or something. There was nothing like that, but there was something even MORE interesting. I couldn't decide at first how to respond, so I said nothing and just kept watching. It continued daily. I've elected to address it head on. Look (you may need to click it to see the full size image):

It initially jumped out at me because the only state with more hits was California. I know who's hitting me from CA, but who could be hitting from IN? I had an immediate guess, but I couldn't believe they'd have the audacity. So I investigated a bit deeper. My hunch was dead on. Between November 23 and today, I have had 39 visits from the South Bend, IN area. It appears to be only one person, since there's only one hit a day for the most part.

Soooo....who could it be? Wayne, the worthless sperm donor? Brenda, his mother? Leila, his sister? Rita, his first wife? Whitney, his daughter from his first wife?

The bigger question: WHY?! Seeing as Wayne signed away his parental rights, I don't think it makes any sense that they'd be trying to keep tabs on ME. So, are they keeping tabs on Bailyn? Why bother? The only ones I cut off were Rita and Whitney (with the explicit instruction that Whitney is more than welcome to contact Bailyn after Whitney's 18th birthday, but that I wanted nothing to do with her mother). Rita is 100% bad news.

Wayne was told when he signed the papers that he could be a part of her life as long as he stayed IN her life, but that he wasn't going to be around and then fall off the face of the earth for months and then try to resurface. She's not a doll that he would be allowed to pull out and play with at his convenience. As a result, he saw her one time after Kim adopted her. Then we didn't hear from him for 6 or so months. I told him to go fly a kite. His choice had been made.

His mother and sister had the same opportunity. They took advantage of it for longer than Wayne did. They called and emailed and sent Christmas and birthday presents. The presents weren't required. I told them countless times that all I wanted was for them to acknowledge her and let her know she was loved. Cards and emails were more than sufficient. She loved to get mail, especially snail mail. Unfortunately, they disappeared on her, too. Pitifully, they waited until she was old enough to notice their sudden absence. For a while, she'd ask heartbreaking questions and I'd have to answer to the best of my ability. Whatever their reasons or excuses, they made their choice, also.

How do you ever begin to justify turning your back on an innocent child? Why, after all this time, is my blog of interest? So interesting, in fact, that it is being checked almost daily? If you're so interested, why not call or email and ask about her? Granted, you already know you won't be allowed to interact with her, but you could inquire about her well-being if you've decided you're interested. I don't understand it. Why take the cowardly approach of silently reading the blog? How'd you find it, anyway? Why'd you bother looking for it? Did you suddenly remember that she exists? Did you stumble across an old picture or something, and go, "Oh...yeah, I remember that kid. She's my flesh and blood."

This silent stalking is weird and creepy. I've decided to wait a few days for this cowardly blood relation of my daughter to email me and explain themselves. If I don't get a good explanation, I'm going to lock the diary. All of you need to email me so I can let you know what the password is going to be.

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