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current I love reading, cuddling with Kim and Bailyn, working with computers, playing The Sims 2, and waiting anxiously for the release of Sims 3. 
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2006-01-05 - 8:49 p.m. I love that Bailyn. She's just so special. Never would I have thought I'd have a kid that would make me so incredibly crazy, but have such an ENDEARING, intense, lovable personality. Last night was wild. I was IMing with an old work buddy of mine. Kim was out working on someone's PC. Bailyn came and told me that Barbie (the cat) ran in her room, and {something, something, something} and there were beads all over the floor. She had the dustpan and the little hand broom, so I asked if she was going to sweep it up the best she could, and she said that she had. I told her that I appreciated her, and I'd go check it out in a few minutes. At that point, I was dividing my concentration between Bailyn and my conversation, so I wasn't even sure where the beads had come from. I wrapped up the convo, and went and heated up some leftovers for Bailyn. When she got up to the table and started to eat, I went down the hall. Honestly, I'd already forgotten all about the "beads." As I was passing Bailyn's door, there was something gritty under my feet. I turned on the light in her room and looked around the hall and bedroom. She wasn't talking about BEADS. She meant MICRObeads. I went to the trash, and sure enough - a neon pink heart-shaped microbead pillow. Well, shit. I walk back to the bedroom to further examine the carnage. She did a great job sweeping up, all things considered. But, wait. What's that laying in the floor in the middle of the room? Scissors? I thought she'd told me something about Barbie. I pick up the scissors and put them in my pocket and go back to the dining room. I sit down at the table and somewhat casually ask to tell me again what happened with the beads. Barbie clawed the pillow and ripped it open. I remind her that I have ways of finding out about things, and tell her that this is her last chance to tell me without getting in trouble if she has anything else to say. She says she she's telling the truth. I pull the scissors out and put them on the table and say, "NOW, do you have anything else to say?" She looks at the scissors and says that she cut the pillow to see what was inside it. I tell her that if she's told me that in the beginning or even when I gave her another chance to tell the truth, she wouldn't be in trouble at all. I can understand being curious and would have just told her not to ever cut another one, because she knows what's inside now. BUT, she lied and is in trouble for the lying. The next few minutes are kind of a blur, but I decided that I was going to make a big impression in her memory about lying. I told her I was throwing the scissors away. She freaked out and grabbed them off the table and jammed them (important note here: these are rounded kid scissors) between her legs so I couldn't get them. I picked her and started wrestling the scissors out of her hands. She clamped down on my upper arm. After she let go, I got the scissors and started toward the door (figured it'd be best to throw them in the outside trash can, since she was going so totally ballistic) and she ran after me and clamped down on my leg right above my knee. The first one hurt like a mother-fucker, but this one was unbearable. I fought her off of me, and pushed her away from me (not at all gently, but my aim was for her to fall safely) and managed to get out the door. I stayed outside for a few minutes after I threw the scissors in the trash. My leg was killing me, and I didn't want to go back in until I had myself under control. after 5 or 6 minutes, I felt ready to go back in. Bailyn was still screaming. When she saw me, she came running at me again. I was geared up stay clear of those teeth, but she started yelling, "Love me! Love me!" and trying to climb up me. I picked her up and sat on the couch cradling her and told her she was very, very wrong to bite me like that, but that I still loved her and would hold her, but that she should expect some consequences for her actions in a little while. She told me I shouldn't have punched her in the stomach like that, and I explained that I didn't punch her. I pushed her so she wouldn't be able to bite me again. Then she started this frantic hand motion - hard to describe, but she was very obviously trying to calm herself down. She finally stuck her thumb in her mouth and started sucking on it (was NEVER a thumb sucker....always had a paci in her mouth until she was nearly 4, though). She started to calm down then. Since she was trying so hard to calm herself, I, too, grabbed a method similar to one we used in babyhood. I started massaging her scalp. Her eyes instantly closed and she was almost asleep. I didn't let her go completely to sleep. I gave her time to relax, though. Then I told her it was bath time. While we were bathing, I explained that her consequence for the biting was going to be 6 days of strict restriction. I circled the days on the calendar and explained that she would be off restriction when we got past the circles and not a minute sooner. After her bath, I helped her move everything out of her room: child sized chairs, books, dolls - even her canopy and hamper...nothing left but a bed, dresser, and clothes in her closet. Then I explained that she could come out for meals and to go to the bathroom. There would be no kicking, jumping, banging, coming out to fool around, and absolutely no tantrums or disobedience. Anytime the rules were broken, I wouldn't yell or fuss. I would simply circle another day. She was calm about it then. She was great about it this morning. She got very upset when we got home this evening and there was a birthday party invitation in the mail. I told her when the party is (this weekend) and showed her on the calendar. She was broken-hearted when she realized she wouldn't be able to go. I sympathized with her, but told her there was nothing I could do. She calmed down over that and seemed ok. A little while later, I started hearing banging noise being repeated every few seconds. I walked in the room and stared at her for a few seconds, then turned around a walked out (leaving the door open so she could see me getting a pen and circling another day). She came running in the kitchen begging me for another chance. I very quietly told her she knew the rules and had repeated them to me and answered questions about them. There was no doubt she knew kicking was unacceptable, so another day must be added. Then I said, "It's time to go back to your room now." She just stared at me to see what I would do next. I said it again. Same response. So I turned around and picked the pen up again. She jumped up and tripped over herself trying to get to her room. Too late. She begged for mercy, but I explained that she knew what the rules where and that it was her responsibility to stop breaking them, not my responsibility to overlook her misbehavior. There was no doubt in my mind that she'd test me and force me to add days. She'll probably be a perfect angel for 2-3 days and then push me again. I'll just have to stand my ground with her and leave her with no doubt that attacking me physically that way won't be tolerated. She is so strong-willed and persistant. I love that about her. It makes me very proud to be the mother of a person so determined. It also makes me determined to shape her wonderful characteristics into some of her greatest assets instead of letting them run unchecked and becoming her downfall. 0 comments so far
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